Subject: Education (Page 5)

The specialist learns more and more about less and less until, finally, he knows everything about nothing; whereas the generalist learns less and less about more and more until, finally, he knows nothing about everything.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Education School

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student; at least they can find Kuwait.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Education Intelligence Learning

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

(1930 – ) American baseball player
Education Intelligence

“The top half of the students are well-educated, the bottom half receive extra help, but the middle half we are leaving out.”

Education Headlines

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.

Education History Learning Murphy’s Laws People Time

You might be a redneck if… your dad walks you to school because you’re in the same grade.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Fathers People Rednecks School

In school, every period ends with a bell… every sentence ends with a period… every crime ends with a sentence.


Education School

I failed math so many times in school, I can’t even count.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Education School

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around; but when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Family Fathers Intelligence Learning Stupidity Wisdom

A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study.

Education Learning Proverbs

My recipe for bad grades: don't study.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Education School

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education Entertainment Money

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Children Communication Education Family Speech

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Education Entertainment Reading/Writing Television

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence People School

Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Definitions Education

Class schedules are designed so that every student will have time to waste between classes.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

You think when gym teachers are younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Education Occupations Work

There’s always one teacher you had a crush on; for me, it’s my wife’s aerobics instructor.

comedian
Education Relationships