Subject: Emotions (Page 3)

The voice of love seemed to call me… but it was a wrong number.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.

(1749 – 1832) German writer & statesman

The fellow who laughs last may laugh best, but he gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.

(1892 – 1972) American comedian, dancer & composer

Happiness equals reality minus expectations.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor

Happiness is… finding two olives in your martini when you’re hungry.

(1925 – 2005) television host

Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can't play football worth a damn.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist

A woman in love can't be reasonable – or she probably wouldn't be in love.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Love and marriage go together like angel cake and anthrax.

(1959 – ) English writer & columnist

On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy – but we'll work on it.

Happier than a pig in slop

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip-clubs?

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician