Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 11)

A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.

Alcohol Food/Drink

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol

If you are allergic to alcohol… can you take shots for that?

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much

Alcohol Book Titles

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Taxes

Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness… from all the free drinks.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Appearance Health

Of course, now I touch nothing stronger than buttermilk: 90-proof buttermilk.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

He has a profound respect for old age… especially when it’s bottled.

(1890 – 1960) journalist, author & dramatist
Age Alcohol

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Alcohol Congress Government

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking… it's easy; I've done it a thousand times.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

A drinking contest?!? What am I, 12… and at my boyfriend's frat party?!

(1968 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

Alcohol Food/Drink

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Alcohol Characteristics Doctors Health

You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.

Alcohol Beer Murphy’s Laws

Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.

(1890 – 1937) author
Activities Alcohol Dance

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name… and you've never been to that bar before.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge; others just gargle.

Alcohol Intelligence People

Egbert: Was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty-dollar bill?

Bartender: Yeah.

Egbert: Oh boy, what a load that is off my mind. I thought I’d lost it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes