Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 13)

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian
Alcohol Body Fat Husbands Marriage Men People

Thou shalt not covet they neighbors’s house… unless they have a well-stocked bar.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink

Sex with me when I'm really drunk is like being at the dentist… you can tell something's going on but you don't exactly know what it is.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Eating Food/Drink

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

Alcohol Definitions

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Animals Food/Drink

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Alcohol Beer Computers Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Things

Drinking should be done in the privacy of one’s home, where it’s necessary.

(1921 – ) American actor
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Alcohol People Situations

Man: I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time.

Fields: A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Love makes the world go ‘round? Not at all; whiskey makes it go ‘round twice as fast.

(1883–1972) British writer, cultural commentator & Scottish nationalist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's the occasion?
Byrne: I was sober.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

There wasn't a man alive who could drink me into bed!

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Alcohol Sex

Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.


Activities Alcohol Food/Drink

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

Woody: What’s up?

Norm: The warranty on my liver.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol

AAA-AA: A club for people who are being driven to drink.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink