Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 2)

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Alcohol Food/Drink Things

The quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.

Alcohol Food/Drink

My father drank beer in the morning; later in the day he drank anything.

(1921 – 2007) Scottish-born actress
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

There’s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip.

Alcohol Food/Drink Proverbs

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Government

I envy people who drink… at least they have something to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Love makes the world go ‘round? Not at all; whiskey makes it go ‘round twice as fast.

(1883–1972) British writer, cultural commentator & Scottish nationalist
Alcohol Food/Drink

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol

A man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.

(1897-1962) American writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Drinking should be done in the privacy of one’s home, where it’s necessary.

(1921 – ) American actor
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I thought AAA was an organization for people who are really bad alcoholics.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Animals

It was an arranged marriage, put together by drugs and alcohol.

American comedian & television host
Alcohol Drugs Marriage

You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.

Alcohol Beer Murphy’s Laws

Smith to witness: So, you were as drunk as a judge?
Judge (interjecting): You mean as drunk as a lord?
Smith: Yes, My Lord.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive; it makes it so you could care less that they’re ugly.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Appearance Food/Drink

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Alcohol People Situations