Subject: Government » Elections/Voting (Page 3)

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.

(1920 – 1994) German-born author & poet

It’s not the people who vote that count, it’s the people who count the votes.

(1878 – 1953) Soviet politician, leader of the Soviet Union

A triumph for democracy; it proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as anybody else.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Harry had won by such a narrow margin he might not have made it if Bess hadn't voted for her husband.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

You win some, you lose some, and then there's that little known third category.

(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor

If voting changed anything they’d abolish it.

(1945 – ) British politician

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

America better beware of a candidate who is willing to stretch reality in order to win points.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

According to reports, President Bush and John Kerry have combined $23 million left over from the 2004 presidential campaign, while Ralph Nader recently discovered some old gum in his hair.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

Oscar [of the Academy Awards] is 80 this year, which makes him now automatically the frontrunner for the Republican nomination.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour; I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug – the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Running for senator in New York is like bobbing for piranhas.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer