Subject: Government (Page 21)

When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the plane will fly.

(1917 – 2004) American industrialist (Douglas Aircraft Company) & sportsman
Government

Short-term success with voters on any side of a given issue can be guaranteed by creating a long-term special study commission made up of at least three divergent interest groups.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

It's our fault… we should have given him better parts.

(1892 – 1978) Canadian-American film producer (Warner Brothers)
Acting Government People

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Intelligence Wisdom

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Government People

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Government Murphy’s Laws

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places

We all know this administration loves deleting history faster than Anthony Weiner when he hears footsteps.

(1985 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Politics

Only one thing, is impossible for God; to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government Law

He may be a son of a bitch, but he’s our son of a bitch.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Government People

Today it takes more brains and effort to make out the income tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

People say satire is dead; it's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Government Insults

Nixon impeached himself; he gave us Gerald Ford as his revenge.

(1920 – 1998) lawyer, congresswoman, & women's movement activist
Government People

I called the Census Bureau to see why they hadn't sent me a form, and they said that I was too nondescript to influence the demographics one way or another.

comedian
Government

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Definitions Law Lawyers

The more zeros found in the price tag for a government program, the less Congressional scrutiny it will receive.

Congress Government Money Murphy’s Laws

You do the policy, I'll do the politics.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements Politics

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Crime Government Money

I could not stand the strain of having to be right all the time.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Government Politicians

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government