Subject: Government (Page 9)

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get re-elected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early retirement.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Entertainment Government Situations

He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Insults

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

(1972 – ) English standup comedian, writer & actor
Animals Arms Government Things

Oscar [of the Academy Awards] is 80 this year, which makes him now automatically the frontrunner for the Republican nomination.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Elections/Voting Government

When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the plane will fly.

(1917 – 2004) American industrialist (Douglas Aircraft Company) & sportsman
Government

Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Democracy Government Politics Success

Neutral countries – aren’t.

Government Military Murphy’s Laws Places

You want a friend in Washington?… get a dog.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Age Friends Government People Places

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Government Law Lawyers Money Opinion

All lawyers are cut from the same cloth: fleece.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Government Law Lawyers

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president… now I'm beginning to believe it.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Age Government President Young

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs.

(1790 – 1869) French writer, poet & politician
Government Politicians

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite,' and I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right; what's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Government Politics Religion

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter; if he ran unopposed he would have lost.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government Politics

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

Military Murphy’s Laws Problems

One of these days the people of Louisiana are going to get good government – and they aren’t going to like it.

(1893 – 1935) U.S. governor & senator (Louisiana)
Government Places