Subject: Health (Page 13)

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Family Health Parents

Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

Definitions Health

My problem, uh, is behind me now.

(1953 – ) American baseball player
Health

Venereal Disease: Germs of endearment.

Definitions Health

X-Ray: A diagnostic tool used to detect existing cancerous growths and create new ones for future examinations to reveal.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Health

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them… well, it's killing me!

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Activities Health

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places; he told me to quit going to those places.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Doctors Health Places

I suffer from a deviant septum.

Health Malaprops

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there were three other people.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director
Doctors Eating Food/Drink

It’s only the mercy of the Lord I ain’t had a stroke already – and a coronary trombonus in the bargain.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

The biggest difference between the psychiatrist and the patient is that the psychiatrist has learned how to live with it.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Doctors Health Life People

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Age Health People

Health food makes me sick.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink Health

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Death Food/Drink Health

A cure for agoraphobics is just around the corner.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Health Language

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Doctors Health Situations

The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Doctors Health

Internship: A sleepless ordeal imposed on young M.D.’s for the purpose of weeding out the weak and infirm among them, and eroding the health of the survivors sufficiently to ensure better empathy in the years to come.

Definitions Doctors

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems… like your groinocology.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops