Subject: Intelligence (Page 15)

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked smart and I'm like, huh?… I didn't go to Harvard; I went to Lens Crafters.

comedian
Education Intelligence

Jazz: Music invented by demons for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman
Entertainment Fools Intelligence Music

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster
Intelligence Wisdom

April 1: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364.

Definitions Fools Intelligence

Smart as a tree full of owls.

Animals Expressions Intelligence Wisdom

He is so stupid… it takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Intelligence Misspokements Stupidity

I’m all in favor of the democratic principle that one idiot is as good as one genius, but I draw the line when someone takes the next step and concludes that two idiots are better than one genius.

(1898 – 1964) Hungarian-American physicist
Intelligence

I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Definitions Intelligence People

I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Characteristics Intelligence Stupidity

Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Intelligence

I remember your name perfectly, but I just can’t think of your face.

(1844 – 1930) English dean at Oxford whose name is given to the accidental transposition of sounds of two or more words
Intelligence Misspokements

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Truth

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Beliefs Intelligence Proverbs Understanding

I come from a stupid family… during the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Intelligence Relationships Stupidity

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics Intelligence

My wife’s not smart, you know? She used to reach inside her bra to count to two.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence

No good decision was ever made in a swivel chair.

(1885 – 1945) U.S. Army general
Intelligence

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Dance Entertainment Intelligence Music