Subject: Intelligence (Page 16)

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule.

(1948 – ) American writer & mathematician
Education Intelligence

If his IQ slips any lower, we’ll have to water him twice a day.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author
Insults Intelligence

A good storyteller is a person with a good memory and hopes other people haven't.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Memory Speech

Fools rush in… and get the best seats.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Fools Intelligence

If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Intelligence Situations

Experts in advanced countries underestimate by a factor of 2 to 4 the ability of people in underdeveloped countries to do anything technical.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places

The sane appear as strange to the mad as the mad to the sane.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Appearance Intelligence

 Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.

professional baseball player & manager
Intelligence Misspokements

A decision is what a man makes when he can’t get anyone to serve on a committee.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist
Intelligence

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death Intelligence Memory

Oh good, now he’ll be bi-ignorant.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Communication Insults Intelligence Language

 Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river where the average depth was only three feet.

college football coach
Facts Intelligence Sports

Never enter a battle of wits half-armed.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

He don't know shit from peach butter.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.

Communication Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
Fools Intelligence People Things

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Education Learning Memory

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Autos Driving Fools Intelligence Things

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Government Ideas Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck.

(1956 – ) American lawyer & novelist
Insults Intelligence

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws Women