Subject: Intelligence (Page 29)

You cannot compile a wit out of two half-wits.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Fools Intelligence Stupidity

I come from a stupid family… during the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Intelligence Relationships Stupidity

I suffer fools gladly because I am one of them.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Fools Intelligence People Self

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

(1920 – 1985 Russian-born American actor of stage & film
Girls Intelligence People Women

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Health Memory People

If brains were all that important in a beauty contest, you could enter wearing a Hefty Bag.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence

The cure to information overload is more information.

(1950 – ) American technologist, commentator, author & editor
Beliefs Facts Intelligence

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Intelligence

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Fools Intelligence People Things

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

April 1: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364.

Definitions Fools Intelligence

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Memory Proverbs

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Intelligence Memory

Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Death Intelligence Thinking

He is brilliant – to the top of his boots.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Insults Intelligence

When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.

Ideas Intelligence Mistakes Murphy’s Laws

Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer
Entertainment Intelligence Television

You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers.

(1961 – ) American actor, director, producer & screenwriter
Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

Pain: An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Mind

You cannot fashion a wit out of two half-wits.

(1942 – ) English politician
Fools Intelligence

It (a cubicle) basically says, like, 'You know what?… we don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.'

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Work