Subject: Intelligence (Page 38)

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Intelligence Old People

She is so slow… she has to speed up to stop.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

A middling mind always benefits from a lack of competition.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Intelligence

You cannot compile a wit out of two half-wits.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Fools Intelligence Stupidity

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Intelligence

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Life Stupidity Success

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You're only interested in one thing,” and you can't remember what it is.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Marriage Memory Sex

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.

(1821 – 1880) French novelist
Emotions Happiness Stupidity

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Life People

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Stupidity

No one ever went broke in Hollywood underestimating the intelligence of the public.

(1883 – 1963) American writer & hostess
Hollywood Intelligence People Places

Anyone taken as an individual is tolerably sensible and reasonable – as a member of a crowd, he at once becomes a blockhead.

Fools Individuals Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Fools Government Insults Intelligence

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist
Communication Thinking

Only a fool can reproduce another fool’s work.

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Work

The only place a men want depth in a woman is in her [cleavage].

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Intelligence Men People Women

No doubt exists that all women are crazy, it’s only a question of degree.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Intelligence People Women

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Sometimes a majority simply means that all the fools are on the same side.

(1925 – ) writer
Fools Intelligence People

I think I am, therefore I am… I think.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Life

A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

British clerk of the House of Commons
Ideas Intelligence