Subject: Intelligence (Page 38)

He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Age People Understanding

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Intelligence

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Intelligence People

He only had one idea and that was wrong.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Ideas Insults Intelligence

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Intelligence Stupidity

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People Places

Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant – they’re quite clear –- that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Beliefs God Government Misspokements Stupidity

Those who know the least will always know it the loudest.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Success

Last night I was having dinner with Charles Manson, and in the middle of dinner he turned to me and said, "Is it hot in here, or am I crazy?"

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence

History would be an excellent thing, if only it were true.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
History Intelligence Time

Right now I feel that I’ve got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.

professional baseball player
Intelligence Mind Misspokements

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature; and another woman to help him forget them.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Intelligence Memory Men People Women

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper; and half never voted for president… one hopes it is the same half.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication Elections/Voting Government Intelligence Reading/Writing

 Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? … I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Intelligence

Every revolutionary idea – in Science, Politics, Art or whatever – evokes three stages of reaction. They may be summed up by the three phrases: 1. It is completely impossible; don't waste my time. 2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

He don't know shit from peach butter.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Intelligence Love

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten; they’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

Intelligence Stupidity

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Intelligence