Subject: Intelligence (Page 4)

Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Intelligence Situations

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around; but when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Family Fathers Intelligence Learning Stupidity Wisdom

Exercise freaks… are the ones putting stress on the health care system.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Activities Exercise People Stupidity

There is only one difference between a madman and me – the madman thinks he is sane… I know I am mad.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter
Intelligence People Self

I recognize my limits, but when I look around I realize I am not living exactly in a world of giants.

(1919 – ) Italian Prime Minister
Characteristics Intelligence

Educated Man: One who has finally discovered that there are some questions to which nobody has the answers.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

If you said 'irony' to Clay, he'd look down at his shirt and think it needed pressing.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Insults Intelligence

He has the lucidity which is the byproduct of a fundamentally sterile mind.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Insults Intelligence

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Autos Driving Fools Intelligence Things

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Government Memory Situations

The helmet is one of the least effective inventions of mankind. It's designed to protect a brain that is functioning so poorly as to be unable to prevent itself from being cracked open on its own.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Intelligence

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student; at least they can find Kuwait.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Education Intelligence Learning

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Characteristics Intelligence

The less a person knows, the more he wants to tell it.

Fools Intelligence

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Beliefs God Intelligence Stupidity

We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later.

(1897 – 1982) French writer
Fools Intelligence Time Wisdom

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Fools Intelligence Wisdom

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Beliefs People Understanding

You’ve got the brain of a four year old boy… and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Intelligence