Subject: Life (Page 10)

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered when they die but they’re not getting up early on a Sunday.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Death Life

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Death Emotions Happiness Laughter Life

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Life

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Autos Life

I intend to live forever – so far, so good.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Life Time

Life is a cement trampoline.

Life

Dying is no big deal, living is the trick.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Death Life

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Life Situations Sleep

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Education Life

All life is 6 to 5 against.

Life Murphy’s Laws

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Life Money

Never do anything you wouldn’t get caught dead doing.

Life Murphy’s Laws

Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles… with sniffles predominating.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
Life

The harsh truth is that the cause of death is birth.

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer
Death Life

Anybody who tells you that life is brief hasn’t been to motor vehicles recently.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Life Time

It’s hard to be famous and alive.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Death Life

Kids: get away from the cell phones, get away from the computers, and mail someone a fish before it’s too late.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Life

It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Life

The three things that mean the most to me in life are my parents, Casablanca and college football – not necessarily in that order.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Life Things

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? … in that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Life

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Life Problems