Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 5)

Every old crow thinks hers are the blackest.

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She could eat watermelon through a chicken wire fence.

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Drunk as Cooter Brown

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He’s dumb as a sack full of hammers.

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Boy, ain't no difference twixt them and you 'cept God's Love.

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He bought a pig in a poke.

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Where you stay?

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Who died and left the gate open?

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I feel lower than a snake in snowshoes.

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You’re acting crazier than a sprayed roach!

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If you can't beat ‘em join ‘em, and if you can’t join ‘em beat ‘em.

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It come up a bad cloud.

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The only hope of deciphering her invitations, someone said, was to pin them up on the wall and run past them!

(1907 – 1999) English publisher & editor
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He's gotta whole head full of simple.

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Practical Demonkeeping


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I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" and I answered, "It's a Boys."

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
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I wish to my never.

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Oprah Winfrey has named her new $51 million estate ‘Tara 2,’ after Scarlett O’Hara’s plantation in Gone With The Wind; meanwhile, Sally Jessy Raphael has named her new estate Apartment 4B.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
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He ain't got no home trainin.

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It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

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You are about as grateful as a toothache.

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