Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 9)

All the goodness of a good egg cannot make up for the badness of a bad one.

(1819 – 1897) American journalist, author & senior government official
Miscellaneous

Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.

Miscellaneous

I’m goin’ to be on you quicker than a duck on a June bug.

Miscellaneous

One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.

Miscellaneous

If brains was grease, he couldn’t slick the head of a pin.

Miscellaneous

Higher the hair, closer to God.

Miscellaneous

Let me be the first to tweet about the 2018 earthquake.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Miscellaneous

He’s a good ol’ dog, but sometimes he sh*ts to close to the porch.

Miscellaneous

Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Miscellaneous

Like a bug arguing with a chicken

Miscellaneous

Those wise decisions you make when you’re young are those foolish ones you’ll live with when your old.

Miscellaneous

Ready with his hat and slow with his money

Miscellaneous

When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves; and usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV.

Miscellaneous

A near man with a dollar

Miscellaneous

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

Miscellaneous

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

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You don’t have to have a long neck to be a goose.

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Don’t pay it no never mind.

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You can hear her three fields off.

Miscellaneous

I'm gonna peck a knot on your head!

Miscellaneous

Them that don’t work, don’t eat.

Miscellaneous