Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 9)

He went and blessed me out!

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Madder than a hornet!

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I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" and I answered, "It's a Boys."

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
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He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection; I guess that’s what I hated about him.

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He looks like something the cat drug in and the dog wouldn't eat.

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Slow as an iron toad

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I think they should continue the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for paneling.

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A fine howdy-do

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I’d like to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
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Sure as the vine twines 'round the stump, you are my darlin' sugar lump.

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If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn’t get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you.

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As easy as herding chickens/cats

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Louder than two skeletons fighting on a tin roof.

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I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died; ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
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He looks like he stepped out of a bandbox.

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If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of Conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good idea to say, “I swallowed it… so sue me.”

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Held his hind leg

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Chester drawers

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Well, shoot me for a billygoat.

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I like a gal where her skin fits a little better.

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Long as a month of Sundays.

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