Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Misspokements
(Page 2)
We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Jason Kidd
professional basketball player
Misspokements
Sports
Upon being drafted by the Dallas Mavericks
I remember your name perfectly, but I just can’t think of your face.
William Archibald Spooner
(1844 – 1930) English dean at Oxford whose name is given to the accidental transposition of sounds of two or more words
Intelligence
Misspokements
President Carter speaks loudly and carries a fly spotter… a fly swasher… it’s been a long day.
Gerald Ford
(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Misspokements
You could be like Anita
O’Brien,
hustlin’ fruits.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Anita Bryant
The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
I feel like a drunken man who doesn’t have a drink.
David Pleat
English football player, manager & sports commentator
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Misspokements
Once the Earth goes, the planet is going to be next!
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
(He) started out here with the Astros and before that he was with the Orioles.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements
Sports
(He) simply lost that sun-blown popup.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
If I look confused it is because I am thinking.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance
Intelligence
Misspokements
Speech
Thinking
Confusion
Here they come, every color of the rainbow: black, white, brown.
David Coleman
(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs
Misspokements
When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results.
Calvin Coolidge
(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Misspokements
Work
Unemployment
These two teams are mirror images of themselves.
An unknown sportscaster
Misspokements
Sports
He’s breaking his grandpa’s
sacrolificat.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Sacroiliac
I paid too much for it, but it’s worth it.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements
Money
I am B-U-Z-Y, busy!
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Your face is a household word.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Face
Serkin was so sick he almost died for three days.
Eugene Ormandy
(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Death
Health
Misspokements
Illness
Most people my age are dead at the present time.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age
Death
Life
Misspokements
Old
People
Time
It’s not only a race against the clock but a race against time itself.
Unknown BBC Presenter
Misspokements
Time
(After playing an exhibition game in Canada, Logan was surprised to learn that even the kids speak French.)
Johnny Logan
professional baseball player
Misspokements
Sports
Page 2 of 53
« Previous
1
2
3
4
5
Next »
Last »