Subject: Money

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Money

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it's compromising.

Money Murphy’s Laws

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Government Money Poverty Taxes

My wife donates money to the homeless and I donate money to the topless.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Wives

Reporter: What did you think about the collective bargaining proposal?

Payton: (making $2,700,000 per year): People would have to cut their lifestyle, and they’d live like penny-pinchers.

professional football coach
Misspokements Money Sports

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

You can't get rich in politics unless you are a crook.


Government Money Politics Wealth

When you don’t have any money, the problem is food; when you have money, it’s sex; when you have both, it’s health.

(1926 – ) Irish American novelist & playwright
Health Money Sex

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Education Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws School Stupidity

Free advice is worth the price.

businessman
Beliefs Money Opinion

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Health Money

If horse racing is the sport of kings, then drag racing must be the sport of queens.

boxing writer & sports historian
Auto racing Money Sports

Money enables a man to get along without an education, and education enables him to get along without money.

writer
Education Money

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

(1918 – 2007) American humor writer
Government Money Taxes

I told you I needed to feed my family; they offered me 3 years at $21 million – that’s not going to cut it.

professional basketball player
Basketball Money Sports

A rich man has no need of character.

Wealth

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Animals Money

The rich aren’t like us… they pay less taxes.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
People Taxes Wealth

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Money

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics