Subject: Money

She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos – and saved us money somehow.

American stand-up comedian
Marriage Money Shopping Wives

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money Things

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I’ve got a nickel in my pocket.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money Poverty TV/Movie Quotes

The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Money Parents Situations

The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)
Characteristics Money

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Money People

Mendoza: I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich.

Tanner: I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Money People

In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.

Money Murphy’s Laws

A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Money Things

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Money Things

Basically, this is the way the economy works: I do a service for you, and you pay me, even if you claim you didn't want the service and that I "ruined" something of yours.

Money

Anyone with money to burn will always find himself surrounded by people with matches.

Money Wealth

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Government Military Money

My father looked at the check and then told the scout, 'Throw in another hundred and you can take the rest of the family.'

baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Health Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

I was so poor, I couldn't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

You can make a lot of money in this game; just ask my ex-wives; both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports Wives

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.

American entrepreneur & author
Autos Money Things

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Definitions Frugal Money

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

American basketball player
Basketball Money Sports