Subject: Money (Page 4)

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Death Life Money Poverty Wealth

I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Money Things

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout; that's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.

(1956 – 2016) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Exercise Money

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Intelligence Money

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

It's a damn good story; if you have any comments, write them on the back of a check.

(1889 – 1970) American lawyer & author
Communication Money

Money often costs too much.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Money

Everything costs more and takes longer.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of shit that I don't need, and I refuse to share with others.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Money Things Wealth

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Communication Money Reading/Writing

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Money

Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws

Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month; others just go over them.


Money

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Occupations People Work

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Money

Ever notice how many government officials make their raises effective long before they ever are?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money

There is nothing so habit-forming as money.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money

1. Always hire a rich solicitor.

2. Never buy from a rich salesman.

Lawyers Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

Any renovation project on an old house will cost twice as much and take three times as long as originally estimated.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Money Parents Situations

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Characteristics Men People Wealth