Subject: Money (Page 2)

Money doesn’t buy happiness; but happiness isn’t everything.

(1938 – 1979) American actress
Emotions Happiness Money

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Money Murphy’s Laws Things

A nickel isn’t worth a dime today.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Money Yogi-isms

Markets can remain irrational a lot longer than you and I can remain solvent.

American financial analyst & commentator
Money

I forgot how expensive this town is; checking into the hotel this morning, I literally had to give the bellhop $10 just for taking my tip.

American comedian & writer
Money

Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line divisible by five or ten.

Money Murphy’s Laws

It isn’t enough for you to love money… it’s also necessary that money should love you.

(1840 – 1915) British banker & politician
Money

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Emotions Happiness Money

Change is inevitable… except from vending machines.

Money Signs

Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one’s living at it.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Money Science/Weather Work

Free advice is worth the price.

businessman
Beliefs Money Opinion

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places

When a feller says, ‘It hain’t the money, but the principle o’ th’ thing’, it’s the money.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Money

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Past Time

Saving is a very fine thing; especially when your parents have it for you.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Money

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Money

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem; if you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)
Money

Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it.

(1893 – 1957) American actress & celebrity
Marriage Mistakes Money

When you don’t have any money, the problem is food; when you have money, it’s sex; when you have both, it’s health.

(1926 – ) Irish American novelist & playwright
Health Money Sex