Subject: Money (Page 11)

A fool and your money are soon partners.

Fools Money Murphy’s Laws

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Money Sports

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Occupations People Work

When it comes to paying, he’s the first to put his hand in his pocket… and leave it there.

Frugal Money

Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Money People

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

(1933 – 1997) Anglo-French billionaire financier
Money Work

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money

He took me to McDonald’s, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.

comedian & radio personality
Frugal Money Situations

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.

Definitions Money People Women

Anyone with money to burn will always find himself surrounded by people with matches.

Money Wealth

I need money… I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Wealth

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Divorce Marriage Money

The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Health Money

Whenever he saw a dollar in another man's hands he took it as a personal grudge, if he couldn't take it any other way.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
Money

God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Money People Wealth

Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?

British actor, comedian & writer
Money People Wealth

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising.

Money Murphy’s Laws

You might be a redneck if… your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs Money People Rednecks Things

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Money Murphy’s Laws

You will never find any more loose change than you have already lost.

Money Murphy’s Laws