Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 12)

When you move something to a more logical place, you only can remember where it used to be and your decision to move it.

Alicia’s Discovery

Murphy’s Laws Alicia Dustria

If you buy bananas or avocados before they are ripe, there won't be any left by the time they are ripe. If you buy them ripe, they rot before they are eaten.

Banana Principle

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Bananas

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

Bettman’s Revision

History Murphy’s Laws Time Otto Bettman

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Swanson's Law

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Rats Upper deck Water

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

(Sam) Brown's Law

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People Offending

Where there's a will, there's a won't.

Gualtieri's Law of Inertia

Murphy’s Laws

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

A Murphy's Military Law

Characteristics Military Murphy’s Laws Bravery Foxholes

Anything that happens enough times to irritate you will happen at least once more.

Parkins' Premise

Murphy’s Laws Irritation

If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you… the next time he’s in need.

Chiet’s Lament

Friends Murphy’s Laws Old People Needs

It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Carson's Law

Health Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

Always keep the office door closed. This puts visitors on the defensive and also makes it look as if you are always in an important conference.

Spark's Fifth Rule for Managers

Murphy’s Laws Management

He travels fastest who travels alone… but he hasn’t anything to do when he gets there.

Travel Axiom

Activities Murphy’s Laws Travel

Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 1

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Murphy's Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another man with the same name.

Law of Murphy's Law

Murphy’s Laws

Nobody notices when things go right.

Zimmerman's Law of Complaints

Murphy’s Laws People Success

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

First Political Principle

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Murphy’s Laws Time Mail

If you're going to rape, pillage and burn, be sure to do things in that order.

Attila the Hun’s Maxim

Murphy’s Laws P.J. Plauger

1. Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy. 2. Always be backlit. 3. sit down whenever possible.

Alden’s Laws

Murphy’s Laws Nancy Alden Pregnancy

There is always an easier way to do it.
Corollary: When looking directly at the easier way, especially for long periods, you will not see it.

Iles's Law

Murphy’s Laws

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 12)

Grass growing from sidewalk cracks never turns brown.

When you move something to a more logical place, you only can remember where it used to be and your decision to move it.

If you buy bananas or avocados before they are ripe, there won't be any left by the time they are ripe. If you buy them ripe, they rot before they are eaten.

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Where there's a will, there's a won't.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

Anything that happens enough times to irritate you will happen at least once more.

If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you… the next time he’s in need.

It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Always keep the office door closed. This puts visitors on the defensive and also makes it look as if you are always in an important conference.

He travels fastest who travels alone… but he hasn’t anything to do when he gets there.

Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

Murphy's Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another man with the same name.

Nobody notices when things go right.

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

If you're going to rape, pillage and burn, be sure to do things in that order.

1. Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy. 2. Always be backlit. 3. sit down whenever possible.

There is always an easier way to do it.
Corollary: When looking directly at the easier way, especially for long periods, you will not see it.