Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 12)

Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Andy Rooney

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer

Murphy’s Laws Probabilities

If there are twelve clowns in a ring, you can jump in the middle and start reciting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you'll just be the thirteenth clown.

Walinsky's First Law of Political Campaigns

Murphy’s Laws People Clowns Groups

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

A Murphy's Military Law

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws

The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.

Jennings' Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Bread Butter Carpet Value

For every problem science solves, it creates ten new one.

Shaw’s Axiom

Murphy’s Laws George Bernard Shaw Science

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Retreating

Possessions increase to fill the space available for their storage.

Ryan's Application of Parkinson's Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Possessions Storage

1. The information you have is not what you want. 2. The information you want is not what you need. 3. The information you need is not what you can obtain. 4. The information you can obtain costs more than you want to pay.

Finagle's Laws of Information

Beliefs Facts Murphy’s Laws Information

The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

Perkin's Postulate

Fights Murphy’s Laws Size Strength

1. If the facts are against you, argue the law. 2. If the law is against you, argue the facts. 3. If the facts and the law are against you, yell like hell.

Rule of Law

Government Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.

Matz's Maxim

Murphy’s Laws Thinking Conclusions

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Murphy's Third Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws War Combat Danger Officer

Those who are most moral are farthest from the problem.

Alinsky's Rule for Radicals

Murphy’s Laws Problems

There are many inside dopes in politics and government.

Law of Inside Dope

Fools Government Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws Politics

Those supplies necessary for yesterday's experiment must be ordered no later than tomorrow noon.

Ordering Principle

Murphy’s Laws Experiments Supplies

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Bartender’s Rule

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.

Tylk's Law

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems (also Wethern’s Law) Assumption

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humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 12)

Caveats are always* forgotten.
*Caveat: except in rare instances.

Everyone wants to be noticed but no one wants to be stared at.

Don't worry… nobody gives a hoot anyway.

If a computer cable has one end, then it has another.

Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If there are twelve clowns in a ring, you can jump in the middle and start reciting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you'll just be the thirteenth clown.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.

For every problem science solves, it creates ten new one.

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.

Possessions increase to fill the space available for their storage.

1. The information you have is not what you want. 2. The information you want is not what you need. 3. The information you need is not what you can obtain. 4. The information you can obtain costs more than you want to pay.

The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

1. If the facts are against you, argue the law. 2. If the law is against you, argue the facts. 3. If the facts and the law are against you, yell like hell.

A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Those who are most moral are farthest from the problem.

There are many inside dopes in politics and government.

Those supplies necessary for yesterday's experiment must be ordered no later than tomorrow noon.

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.