Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 23)

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

Repairman's Laws

Murphy’s Laws Things Work Distance Tools

The person with the least expertise has the most opinions.

Gioia's Theory

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Opinion

An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Law of Selective Gravity (The Buttered Side Down Law)

Murphy’s Laws

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

Lane Hurewitz's Memory Principle

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

The bus that left the stop just before you got there is your bus.

Corcoroni's First Law of Bus Transportation

Murphy’s Laws Bus Transportation

When you move something to a more logical place, you only can remember where it used to be and your decision to move it.

Alicia’s Discovery

Murphy’s Laws Alicia Dustria

The length of debate varies inversely with the complexity of the issue.

Knowles's Law of Legislative Deliberation

Murphy’s Laws Time Debates

When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the plane will fly.

Douglas's Law of Practical Aeronautics

Murphy’s Laws Paperwork

Speak with authority; however, expound only on the obvious and proven facts.

Spark's Third Rule for Managers

Murphy’s Laws Management

No matter how many beautifully crafted, near-to-perfection baked goods you crank out on a regular basis, the moment one such item becomes required in some official capacity, it will flop.

A Murphy’s Law of the Kitchen

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Baking

A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.

Grandma Soderquist's Conclusion

Murphy’s Laws

If there is a wrong thing to say, one will.

Hartig's How Is Good Old Bill? We're Divorced Law

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Incoming fire has the right-of-way.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Incoming fire

When the need arises, the tool or object closest to you becomes a hammer.

Bromberg's First Law of Auto Repair

Murphy’s Laws Hammers Repair Tools

1. All bicycles weigh 50 pounds.
2. 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.
3. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.
4. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.

Bicycle Laws

Murphy’s Laws Things Bicycles Weight

The only things that start on time are those that you're late for.

Cayo's Law

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time Lateness

The most expensive component is the one that breaks.

Law of New Fangled Gadgetry

Money Murphy’s Laws Things

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things Cigarette From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

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humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 23)

All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.

The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the roll.

Secrecy is the enemy of efficiency, but don’t let anyone know it.

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

The person with the least expertise has the most opinions.

An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

The bus that left the stop just before you got there is your bus.

When you move something to a more logical place, you only can remember where it used to be and your decision to move it.

The length of debate varies inversely with the complexity of the issue.

When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the plane will fly.

Speak with authority; however, expound only on the obvious and proven facts.

No matter how many beautifully crafted, near-to-perfection baked goods you crank out on a regular basis, the moment one such item becomes required in some official capacity, it will flop.

A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.

If there is a wrong thing to say, one will.

Incoming fire has the right-of-way.

When the need arises, the tool or object closest to you becomes a hammer.

1. All bicycles weigh 50 pounds.
2. 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.
3. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.
4. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.

The only things that start on time are those that you're late for.

The most expensive component is the one that breaks.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.