Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 26)

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.

An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)

Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.

Whatever you want, you can’t have, what you can have, you don’t want.

Only errors exist.
Berman's Corollary to Robert's Axiom: One man's error is another man's data.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Get re-elected.

The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.

Your pocket radio won't pick up the station you want to hear most.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.

When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.

Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.

In letters themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep strings apart.