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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 71)

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Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.

Saul Lavisky's Observation

Communication Education Murphy’s Laws Experience Fine print

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.

Anonymous

Murphy’s Laws Success Things Inanimate objects

1. No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough. 2. What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.

Worker's Dilemma Law (or Management's Put-Down Law)

Murphy’s Laws Doing things Effort

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Weinberg's Second Law

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Builders Civilization Programmers

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Murphy’s Laws Cigarette From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

A condominium is just an apartment with a down payment.

Specht’s Discovery

Murphy’s Laws Things Condominiums Robert Specht

Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line divisible by five or ten.

O'Brien's Principle (The $357.73 Theorem)

Money Murphy’s Laws Auditors Expense

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Willoughby's Law

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Machines

To protect your position, fire the fastest rising employees first.

Third Law of Survival

Murphy’s Laws People Situations Work Employees Fire

Short-term success with voters on any side of a given issue can be guaranteed by creating a long-term special study commission made up of at least three divergent interest groups.

Connolly's Rule for Political Incumbents

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Commissions

If “sense” is so common, how come we don’t see more of it around?

Bishop’s Query

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws C.B. Bishop Common sense

If it looks easy, it's tough… if it looks tough, it's near impossible.

Stockmayer's Theorem

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Situations Difficult Impossible

An unbreakable toy is good for breaking other toys.

Jason's Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Toys

If you need four screws for the job, the first three are easy to find.

N-1 Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Screws

The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.

Kirkland's Law

Murphy’s Laws People Situations Attendance Meetings Usefullness

If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are sure to get out of it.

Austen's Second Law

Men Murphy’s Laws People Problems Jane Austen

We may lay down a maxim, that when a nation abounds in physicians it grows thin of people.

Joseph Addison

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws People

Committee reports dealing with wages, salaries, fringe benefits, facilities, computers, employee parking, libraries, coffee breaks, secretarial support, etc., always call for dramatic expenditure increases.

Martin's Exclusion (to Martin's Law of Committees)

Money Murphy’s Laws Committees

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it. 

Another Axiom to Murphy’s Law

Failure Murphy’s Laws

The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just beyond reach.

Laws of the Frisbee

Murphy’s Laws Frisbees

In a bureaucracy, accomplishment is inversely proportional to the volume of paper used.

Fowler's Law

Murphy’s Laws Accomplishments Bureaucracy Paper

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 71)

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.

1. No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough. 2. What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

A condominium is just an apartment with a down payment.

Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line divisible by five or ten.

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

To protect your position, fire the fastest rising employees first.

Short-term success with voters on any side of a given issue can be guaranteed by creating a long-term special study commission made up of at least three divergent interest groups.

If “sense” is so common, how come we don’t see more of it around?

If it looks easy, it's tough… if it looks tough, it's near impossible.

An unbreakable toy is good for breaking other toys.

If you need four screws for the job, the first three are easy to find.

The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.

If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are sure to get out of it.

We may lay down a maxim, that when a nation abounds in physicians it grows thin of people.

Committee reports dealing with wages, salaries, fringe benefits, facilities, computers, employee parking, libraries, coffee breaks, secretarial support, etc., always call for dramatic expenditure increases.

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it.

The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just beyond reach.

In a bureaucracy, accomplishment is inversely proportional to the volume of paper used.