Subject: People » Men (Page 14)

Guys I’ve been meeting have the worst pickup lines, like: “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

(1977 – ) American comedian

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion; a woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist

Well I don’t see why I have to make one man miserable when I can make so many men happy.


Men and women are different; while guy is having sex he's thinking how great it would be with a different woman; while when a woman is having sex she's thinking how lousy it is with this guy.

Canadian comedian & author

Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Woman is the most powerful magnet in the universe, and all men are cheap metal… and they all know where 'North' is.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist

Men are my hobby; if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

American comedian

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

Woman: An animal… having rudimentary susceptibility to domestication… The species is the most widely distributed of all beast of prey… The woman is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Man does not control his own fate; the women in his life do that for him.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

You have nooo idea… the difference in sex drive between a man and woman is like the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist

Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports; when four or more women get together, they talk about men.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.