Subject: People » Men (Page 15)

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Men Sex Things Women

Men are like chocolate bars: sweet, smooth, and heading straight for your hips.

Food/Drink Men People

I used to live with five straight guys and – ew, the cleaning schedule was 'nope.'

comedian
Housework Men People

If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men People Women

A man leaves a woman for another woman, but a woman leaves a man for herself.


Men People Relationships Women

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Relationships

I hate when women compare men to dogs; men are not dogs… dogs are loyal; I’ve never found any strange panties in my dog’s house

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Animals Dogs Men People

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net.

American playwright, television writer & author
Men People Women

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

(1901 – 1989) wife of Lester Bowles Pearson, Canadian prime minister
Men People Success Women

To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move… he’ll talk to you, I promise.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men People

Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Men People Sex Women

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Characteristics Men People Sports

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.

(1972 – ) American actress
Characteristics Men People

Men are simple things; they can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

Diana Jordan American humorist & author
Beer Men People

A birth-control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.

American actor & comedian
Men People Sex

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
Men People Places World

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor & comedian
Men People Success Women

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence Men People Stupidity

Men in high levels of government seldom surf.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Government Men Occupations People Work

Real men don’t use instructions, son; besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men TV/Movie Quotes