Subject: People (Page 10)

You might be a redneck if… your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

My beard is the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's look good.

American basketball player
Basketball People Self Sports

I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Life Self

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there.

(1809 – 1882) English naturalist
People

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People Self

Ballerinas are always on their toes; why don’t they just get taller ballerinas?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People

One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost and people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Miscellaneous People Self

Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Mistakes People Problems Self

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

You might be a redneck if… you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Per capita – just about everyone has no idea what a ‘capita’ is.

(1973 – ) American comedian
People

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day; I haven't had time for tobacco since.

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor
Activities People Situations Women

You might be a redneck if… ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Government Law Marriage People Rednecks

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf People Sports

Imagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse… that would be chaos.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People

Al, you're meddling with powers which, like a woman's body, you know nothing about.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
TV/Movie Quotes Women

Adherent: A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.

Definitions People

We have met the enemy and it is us.

(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist (Pogo)
People Signs

I love mankind – it's people I can't stand.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
People