Subject: People (Page 8)

It's pretty much a bunch of people who don't live in a trailer park, yet like to vacation there.

comedian
Activities People

In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on… and this person must be fired.

Murphy’s Laws People Situations

Men and nations will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Characteristics Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

Give a civil servant a good cause and he’ll wreck it with cliches, bad punctuation, double negatives and convoluted apology.

(1928 – 1999) British politician & diarist
Occupations People Work

You might be a redneck if… your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I’m a typical Capricorn; I’m hardworking, loyal, sometimes stubborn and I don’t believe in astrology.

(1974 – ) American Internet entrepreneur
People Self

Friends are God’s apology for relations.

(1889 – 1949) British writer & journalist
Family Friends People

Jerry Ford is so dumb that he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Opinion People

You take 10 Jews at random and put 'em on a basketball court, you get a real estate seminar.

comedian
People

The poor and ignorant will continue to lie and steal as long as the rich and educated show them how.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Money People Poverty Wealth

The heaviest object in the world is the body of the woman you have ceased to love.

(1715 – 1747) French writer & moralist
Emotions Love People Women

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials.

(1931 – 2001) Canadian author, screenwriter & essayist
Canada Characteristics People Places

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing Men People

A homely face and no figure have aided many women heavenward.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Appearance Body People Women

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics Men People War

Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

People

If he wants breakfast in bed, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Men People Situations

Nature abhors a virgin – a frozen asset.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
Men People Sex Women

There are more horses’ asses in this world than there are horses.

Animals Murphy’s Laws People

The reports on human progress are beginning to come in, and some are a little discouraging.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life People