Subject: People (Page 9)

China has a population of a billion people; that means even if you’re a one-in-a-million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Characteristics People Places

No man goes before his time… unless the boss leaves early.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals People Time Work

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics People

To err is human; to loaf, Parisian.

(1802 – 1885) French writer
People Places Work

I don't have any tattoos or piercings yet, but I do have a cold sore I've been ignoring.

(1959 – ) American comedian, actress & singer
Characteristics People Self

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

People Self

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Intelligence People

She is a combination of Little Nell and Lady Macbeth.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
People

Flattery is telling people exactly what they think of themselves.

Characteristics People Self

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Autos People Things Women

I drink to make other people seem more interesting.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

You might be a redneck if… you’ve ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Relationships

My beard is the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's look good.

American basketball player
Basketball People Self Sports

Women with "pasts" interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Men Past People Women

Men are pigs; too bad we own everything.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics Men People

There's only two white men that black people love: Bill Clinton and Bob Barker.

(1963 – ) American comedian
People

If an unmarried woman loses her equilibrium, she should try to fall on a millionaire.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
People Relationships Women

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People

Why is it old people say, ‘there’s no place like home’, yet when you put them in one…

British comedian
People

Usually I’m on top to keep the guy from escaping.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Self Sex

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People