Subject: People (Page 111)

A face like a wedding cake left out in the rain.

Appearance People

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
People Relationships Time Women

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
People

From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class; from ten feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Appearance People Women

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
America Government People Places Politicians

No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

Go to L.A. – they got gangbangers that will stab you, and then go to the corner and wait for the light to turn green.

American stand-up comedian
Conflict People Places

Women aren't as mere as they used to be.

(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist (Pogo)
People Women

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Men People Situations Women

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Characteristics People

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics People Self

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Marriage Men People

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Appearance Dogs People Self

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Men People Women

A missionary is a person who teaches cannibals to say grace before they him.

People

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Intelligence People

There were many reasons we broke up; there was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

American actor & comedian
Beliefs Girlfriends Relationships Religion

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Animals People

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public; they can learn in private; in public they have to know.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Learning Men People

Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? … that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

(1865-1940) English actress
Men People Women

My parents are Catholic, which means that they love Jesus and liquor and I don't think there's anything more Mexican than that.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Religion