Subject: People (Page 111)

That’s where Jack and I were different, he would let his hair down, I just took mine off.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Appearance Hair People Situations

The first sentence that I was taught to say by my parents as a little boy was: “Of course I know that I’m wrong.”

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Communication People Self Speech

[With women] it’s like God made a little package; it’s all tucked in with hospital corners and stuff; and with men, it’s like God started to make a bow, and the phone rang.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian & actress
Men People Women

Y-chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

You might be a redneck if… you have used a bar stool as a walker.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Health People

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared… “Tom's gone! … Is he a magician?”… “No. … then let's print up some flyers!”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Situations

Agatha Christie has given more pleasure in bed than any other woman.


(1929 – ) British television & radio critic
People Sex

They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he’s nothing like him, but I can see why – it’s because he’s a bit different.

English football player & manager
Misspokements People Sports

Window Dresser: A girl who doesn’t pull down the shades.

Definitions People

Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.

American film & television producer
Activities People

Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf People Situations Sports

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Emotions Failure Friends

Americans are like the straight, white man of cultures.

(1978 – ) Australian comedian, writer & actress
America People Places

A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.

(1920 – 2004) Canadian author, television personality & journalist
People Places Sex Things

A kind of cross between Julia Roberts and Jack Nicholson.

British journalist, author and television & music critic
Insults People

To make an enemy, do someone a favor.

Murphy’s Laws People

A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics Communication People Speech

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator…. he didn’t get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics People Time

Sometimes I’m so sweet even I can’t stand it.

(1935 – ) British actress, singer & author
People Self

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women – one cleaning and the other dusting.

Australian comedian & actress
Housework People Women