Subject: People (Page 112)

I'm not anti-social – I'm just not social.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics People Self

I used to live with five straight guys and – ew, the cleaning schedule was 'nope.'

comedian
Housework Men People

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America People President Success

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing Men People

There is no such thing as an unattached woman.

Murphy’s Laws People Relationships Women

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

(1943 – ) American football player
Age Characteristics Communication Self Young

A character who, if he had not existed, could not be imagined.

(1893 – 1973) playwright & screenwriter
People

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Opinion People

Even Robinson Crusoe had company on Friday.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
People

Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
People

Snobs talk as if they had begotten their ancestors.

(1897 – 1980) American journalist and historian & newspaper editor
Characteristics People

It is well-known what a middleman is; he is a man who bamboozles one party and plunders the other.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics People

We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
People Self

I got my period today; I’m happy ’cause most of my friends got it when they were 13.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Friends People

A consultant is someone you pay a hundred-dollars-an-hour to give you the same advice you ignore from your assistant.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Occupations People Work

If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Marriage People

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities People Rednecks Television

I thank God for creating gay men; because if it wasn’t for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
People

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People

In the heat of a political lifetime, he innocently squirrels away tidbits of misinformation and then, sometimes years later, casually drops them into his public discourse, like gum balls in a quiche

Characteristics People

I was born at the age of twelve on a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lot.

(1922 – 1969) American singer & actor
Entertainment People Self