Subject: People (Page 22)

In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.

(1909 – 2005) management writer
Characteristics Food/Drink People

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor
England People Places Relationships

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends People Women

A libertarian is just a Republican who takes drugs.

(1951 – ) American anarchist writer
Drugs Government People Politics

This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Men People

My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette; we passed around six girls and one of them had VD.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Girls Health Old Women

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

If Bing Crosby was great, imagine how good Google Crosby would have been.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Wordplay

A Jewish man with parents alive is a fifteen-year-old boy, and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy until they die.

(1933 –2018) American novelist
People

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy… I'm dating a pregnant woman.


Dating People Relationships

I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs God People

All men are animals, but some make better pets than others.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People

Things are gradually falling into place on top of me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Problems Self

There are only two problems with people: One is that they don't think; The other is that they do.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems Thinking

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Intelligence People

A man in a queue is as much the image of a true Briton as a man in a bull-ring is the image of a Spaniard.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
England People Places

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Characteristics Girls People Women

Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Girls People

Men are people that have sex because they have a headache… or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Men People Sex

A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.

(1920 – 2004) Canadian author, television personality & journalist
People Places Sex Things

We just expressed our suffering differently as people; Blacks developed the blues… Jews complain… we just never thought of putting it to music.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
People