Subject: People (Page 39)

Bureaucrat: A person who cuts red tape sideways. 

Government People

Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Girls People

No man is an island, but some of us are pretty long peninsulas.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
People Situations

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Children Girls People

If I wanted to be with people p**sing themselves and talking rubbish, I’d have a kid.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People

My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron… and a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Girlfriends People

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs People Religion

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.

Murphy’s Laws People

I really like a lot of the stuff they did; it's just, sometimes, their fans get on my nerves.

comedian
People

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Men Sex Things Women

Me and Jake LaMotta grew up in the same neighborhood. You wanna know how popular Jake was? When we played hide and seek, nobody ever looked for LaMotta.

(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion
Boxing People Self Sports

You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your bookcase.

English standup comedian
Entertainment People Television

One thing in which the sexes are equal is in thinking that they're not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence Men People Women

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn’t learn something from him.

(1564 – 1642) Italian astronomer, physicist, engineer, philosopher & mathematician
Intelligence People Self

Guys I’ve been meeting have the worst pickup lines, like: “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

(1977 – ) American comedian
Dating Men People Relationships

The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Individuals People

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics People

Now there's a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals Insults Intelligence

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

(1922 – ) American author, publisher & editor
Girls People

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Self

About all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Children People