Subject: People (Page 65)

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Characteristics People

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Characteristics People

Neurotic: A person who, when you ask how she is, tells you.

Definitions People

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Men Mistakes People Sex Women

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of someone else.

Love Murphy’s Laws People

When a guy writes a scene where a woman does a deviant sex act on camera, it’s objectifying; but when a woman writes it, it’s feminism.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Men People Sex Women

You might be a redneck if… your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

I have a girlfriend… I’ve been going out with my girlfriend for …….. sex!

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Relationships Sex

It’s not the men in my life that counts, it’s the life in my men.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Life Men Sex

We just expressed our suffering differently as people; Blacks developed the blues… Jews complain… we just never thought of putting it to music.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
People

The heaviest object in the world is the body of the woman you have ceased to love.

(1715 – 1747) French writer & moralist
Emotions Love People Women

For the white people, it would be like if you were going to Vermont.

American stand-up comedian
People Places

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men Relationships Time

He'd fall in a sewer and come up with a gold watch.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
People Situations

My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette; we passed around six girls and one of them had VD.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Girls Health Old Women

Even Robinson Crusoe had company on Friday.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
People

The Irish people do not gladly suffer common sense.

(1878 – 1957) Irish poet, author, athlete & politician
Intelligence People Places

There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People

I wanna tell you… I was ugly. I was so ugly, I went to the proctologist and he stuck his fingers in my mouth.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self

Man is certainly stark mad; he cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens.

(1533 – 1592) French writer
People