Subject: People (Page 68)

In every group of girlfriends, there’s that one who is the sluttiest; if you don’t have that friend, you’re that friend.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Girlfriends People Sex

Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
People Relationships

Some of my best friends are thieves; why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Crime People

There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Girls People Women

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

(1922 – ) American author, publisher & editor
Girls People

Women should be obscene and not heard.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Language Speech Women

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
People Women

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Age Men Time Women

To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move… he’ll talk to you, I promise.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men People

No doubt exists that all women are crazy, it’s only a question of degree.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Intelligence People Women

If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.

Characteristics Marriage Men

It does not take a rocket scientist to coach a professional football team, but, of course, I was one of the few who happened to be a rocket scientist.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Intelligence People Self Sports

A bunch of bong-smoking, America-bashing, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites; these are the sensitive, liberal people who are always yelling about people's freedom of speech and expression, unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People Politics

Abstainer: The kind of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Characteristics People

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot… unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Health People

You can always reason with a German… you can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Age Old People

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Friends Money People Young

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

(1918 – 2004) radio and television comedian & talk show host
People

USA Today has come out with a new survey; apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Facts People Science/Weather