Subject: People (Page 80)

If men could get pregnant,abortion would be a sacrament.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Health Men People

I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
People Television

When team members are finally in a position to help the team, it turns out they have quit the team.

Murphy’s Laws People

My shrink told me that my happiness was stress related.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Self

You might be a redneck if… you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks Things

All right, brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
People Self TV/Movie Quotes

I drink to make other people seem more interesting.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Men are pigs; too bad we own everything.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics Men People

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Entertainment Money People Television

There are more fools in the world than there are people.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Fools Intelligence People

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

No man knows more about women than I do… and I know nothing.

(1871 – 1949) British actor, playwright, screenwriter, manager & producer
People Women

Hell may have a worse climate but undoubtedly the company is spritelier.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
People Places Situations

You might be a redneck if… your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

Discussion: A method of confirming others in their errors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Mistakes People

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times.


Intelligence Men People Self Sex

I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Intelligence President Self

A woman telling her true age is like a buyer confiding his final price to an Armenian rug dealer.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Age People Women

Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out fliers, and when someone tries to hand me out a flier, it's kinda like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Men People Speech Women

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Love Women