Subject: Places » America (Page 6)

A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care. 

Canadian comedian & author
America Canada People Places

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
America Elections/Voting Government Places

The town had the coldest temperature in all the contagious states.

America Malaprops Places

I dropped out of West Point to become a comedian… probably the greatest service I will ever do for my country.

(1955 – ) American comedian
America Entertainment Places

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People Places

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Education Intelligence Misspokements Places World

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
America Places Taxes

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States; the only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.

(1903 – 1983) American radio and television broadcaster & entertainer
America Government Money Places Taxes

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show; when you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
America Places

Never criticize Americans… they have the best taste that money can buy.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster
America Characteristics Money Opinion People Places

California is a nice place to live – if you happen to be an orange.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
America Places

Americans are like the straight, white man of cultures.

(1978 – ) Australian comedian, writer & actress
America People Places

President Bush has just one question for the American voters: is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America Money

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Places Science/Weather

America is still a land of promise, especially during a political campaign.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
America Government Places Politics

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America People Places

In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism.

(1918 – 1996) U.S. vice president & politician
America Places

We have a President, perhaps for the very first time since the founding of our republic, who doesn’t appear to believe that America is the greatest earthly force for good the world has ever known.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
America Misspokements

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
America Places

America never lost a war or won a peace conference.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
America Conflict Places War