Subject: Places » England (Page 2)

The English approach to ideas is not to kill them, but to let them die of neglect.

(1950 – ) English broadcaster, journalist & author

Long experience has taught me that in England nobody goes to the theater unless he or she has bronchitis.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic

The old English belief that if a thing is unpleasant it is automatically good for you.

(1908 – 1986) English cartoonist, author, art critic & stage designer

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia?

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist

The English contribution to world cuisine – the chip.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer

I knew these Siamese twins; they moved to England, so the other one could drive.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I have to spend so much time explaining to Americans that I am not English and to Englishmen that I am not American that I have little time left to be Canadian.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor

I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold, I almost got married.

(1920 – 2006) American actress

We know Jesus can’t have been English; he is always wearing sandals, but never with socks.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

If you live to be ninety in England and can still eat a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

(1908 – 1999) English writer

Trains in Britain can be late for all sorts of reasons: speed restrictions, livestock on the track, or a totally substandard rail infrastructure that’s publicly funded, privately run and answerable to no one… all sorts of reasons.

(1979 – ) English comedian & actor

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

An Englishman considers himself a self-made man, and thereby relieves the Almighty of a dreadful responsibility.

The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.

Irish music columnist & journalist