Subject: Places (Page 10)

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

In China, the piano piece ‘Chopsticks’ is known as ‘Knife and Fork.’

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Music Places

Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”

Definitions Places

The Canadian military is like Switzerland's… without the knife.

Canadian comedian & author
Canada Government

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places

Of course… once.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

Never criticize Americans… they have the best taste that money can buy.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster
America Characteristics Money Opinion People Places

If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Places

California’s Silicone Valley

Malaprops Places

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Age Communication Language Old Speech World

I might just fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Malaprops Places

I’ve now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones… unfortunately, it’s a lower case l.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Places

In America, your work determines your marks; in Soviet Russia, Marx determines your work!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

We used to write essays like: “What I'm going to be if I grow up.”

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Places

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E – I – E – I – O.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Places

I take my wife everywhere… but she keeps finding her way back.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Places Wives

We might as well give them ours, we aren’t using it.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America Places

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places

I live so far out of town, the mailman mails me my letters.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Places

I’m in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants; I’d let just about everybody in except the English.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
England Food/Drink Places

It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotch understanding.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Entertainment People Places