Subject: Places (Page 26)

It was once said truly that the greatest American superstition was belief in facts.

(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
America Beliefs Facts

I came from a real tough neighborhood; I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Places

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Entertainment Life World

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Girls People Places Women

America's attic.

(1915 – 1979) English-born Canadian poet
Canada Places

Las Vegas is the oasis of outstretched palms.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Money Places Sports

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Communication Intelligence New York City Reading/Writing

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Children Family Places

He was from Thailand or some other erotic place.

Malaprops Places

The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Insults People Places

I’ve been here eight months and have been in two earthquakes, a race riot, floods and fires, and I left New York because I couldn’t handle my mother.

comedian & television writer
Family Mothers Places

In Los Angeles, by the time you’re 35, you’re older than most of the buildings.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Age Old Places

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
New York City Places

You might be a redneck if… you think the French Riviera is a foreign car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Places Rednecks Things

The French like burgers, Madonna and Miami Vice.

(1955 – ) French President & politician
People Places

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Places

I went to Missouri… I got a speeding ticket for $130; that’s a bunch of crap… rent’s not $130 in Missouri.

(1975 – ) American comedian
Places

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Food/Drink Hollywood Marriage Time

Washington is a place where men praise courage and act on elaborate personal cost-benefit calculations.

(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist
Government Places

England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex.

(1934 – ) comedian
Food/Drink Places Sex

I was so poor… in my neighborhood, the rainbow was in black and white!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places Poverty