Subject: Problems » Failure (Page 2)

Washing machines only break down during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

In this world there are winners and losers – and, of course, ‘the others’, who comprise the majority.

(1967 – ) English comedian

Dear Randolph, utterly unspoilt by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one is.

1867 – 1931) English novelist

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Reality continues to ruin my life.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Trying is the first step towards failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Failure has gone to his head.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

The most difficult light bulb to replace burns out first and most frequently.

It is not enough to succeed, others must fail.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

Authorization for a project will be granted only when none of the authorizers can be blamed if the project fails but when all of the authorizers can claim credit if it succeeds.

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.