Subject: Problems (Page 17)

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

Never saw off the branch you are on, unless you are being hanged from it.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Problems Situations

1. Anyone else who can be blamed should be blamed.
2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong faster with computers.
3. Whenever a computer can be blamed, it should be blamed.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Money Problems

The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Problems

Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Marriage Memory Problems Sex Wives

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Accidents Failure People

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Doctors Health Problems

If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States; ask any Indian.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
America Places Problems

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

Anytime you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is proportional to the number of viewers.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

When an elephant is in trouble even a frog will kick him.

Problems

General solutions to specific problems become specific problems requiring general solutions.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

No experiment is ever a complete failure – it can always serve as a negative example.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Failure Problems Things

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Intelligence Problems

If you're in a hole, stop digging.

Problems Situations