Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 14)

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole-in-one.

Golf Situations Sports

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.

(1926 – ) professional bowler
Golf Sports

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf; the other is "Wear it if it clashes."

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

I don’t think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf.

professional golfer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

A woman I know is engaged to a real golf nut.  They are supposed to get married next Saturday…but only if it rains.

Golf Marriage Sports

Gimme:  An agreement between two losers who can't putt.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Situations Sports

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sex Sports

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

When Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in, I'll caddie for Jack.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Activities Golf Sports

One hundred years of experience has demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture.

American sports journalist
Golf Sports

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

My clubs are well used, but unfortunately not used well.

Golf Sports

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

Golf Sports

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

That ball is so far left Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports