Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 9)

The three things I fear most in golf are lightening, Ben Hogan, and a downhill putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golfing excellence goes hand in hand with alcohol, as many an Open and Amateur champion has shown.

British golf writer & commentator

For those who know golf, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, no explanation is possible.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf; the other is "Wear it if it clashes."

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

(1925 – 2001) actor & musician

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

Don Quixote would understand golf. It is the impossible dream.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

You drive for show, but putt for dough.

South African professional golfer

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt… the rest can never be mastered.

(1946 – ) British politician

When Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in, I'll caddie for Jack.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer

[tees off] Fore! [his ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch] … I should have yelled, “Two!”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I played golf with a priest the other day. He shot par-par-par-par-par. Finally I said to him, "Father, if you're playing golf like this you haven't been saving many souls lately.”

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.

(1940 – ) professional golfer

We learn so many things from golf – how to suffer, for instance.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

The last thing you want to do is shoot 80 wearing tartan trousers.

English professional golfer

Golf, especially championship golf, isn't supposed to be fun, was never meant to be fair, and never will make any sense.

author

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator