Golf | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 9)

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

Bruce Lansky

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

Tim Allen

(1953 – ) comedian & actor

Golf Sports

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

If you’d offered me a 69 at the start this morning I’d have been all over you.

Sam Torrance

Scottish professional golfer

Golf Misspokements Sports

I'm glad we don't have to play in the shade.

Bobby Jones

professional golfer

Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports On being told that the temperature in a tournament was 105 degrees in the shade

We learn so many things from golf – how to suffer, for instance.

Bruce Lansky

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

Golf Sports Suffering

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Anonymous

Definitions Golf Sports

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating… the other 20 percent lied.

Bruce Lansky

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

Activities Golf Sports Cheating

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

Robin Williams

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

Golf Insults Intelligence Euphemisms

My best score ever was 103. But I've only been playing fifteen years.

Alex Karras

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor

Golf Sports

I’m having problems with my putting; but it’s the puttee, not the putter.

Frank Beard

professional golfer

Golf Sports Putting

Golf, especially championship golf, isn't supposed to be fun, was never meant to be fair, and never will make any sense.

Charles Price

author

Golf Sports

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Anonymous

Definitions Golf Sports Hole-in-one

The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag.

Byron Nelson

American professional golfer

Golf Sports

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

William Wordsworth

(1770 – 1850) English Romantic poet

Golf Sports

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

Dave Stockton

American professional golfer

Golf Science/Weather Sports Wind

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with golf.

Andrew Perry

Golf Problems Sports

When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don't answer.

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports Advice To his caddie

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Unknown

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

John Updike

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic

Golf Sports

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

Henry Longhurst

British golf writer & commentator

Golf Sports

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Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 9)

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

If you’d offered me a 69 at the start this morning I’d have been all over you.

I'm glad we don't have to play in the shade.

We learn so many things from golf – how to suffer, for instance.

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating… the other 20 percent lied.

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

My best score ever was 103. But I've only been playing fifteen years.

I’m having problems with my putting; but it’s the puttee, not the putter.

Golf, especially championship golf, isn't supposed to be fun, was never meant to be fair, and never will make any sense.

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with golf.

When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don't answer.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.