Subject: Sports (Page 117)

Colin Meads is the kind of player you expect to see emerging from a ruck with the remains of a jockstrap between his teeth.

Papua New Guinean rugby player
Sports

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

You may be right, but it hasn’t reached his legs yet!

Scottish football player & manager
Sports

There's a deep fly ball… Winfield goes back, back… his head hits the wall… it's rolling towards second base.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

(1945 – ) football coach
Books Communication Insults Reading/Writing Sports

When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

When they list the great things of the 20th Century, they’ll say, penicillin, Sophia Loren, jet travel and ESPN.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Entertainment Sports Television

He can do it the hard way, get beat up for 12 rounds and end up in the hospital. Or, he can do it the easy way, get hit on the chin and go to sleep.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I guess I’d better send my fingers to Cooperstown.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I could stand up in the seat and not hit my head.

American auto racer
Auto racing Autos Sports Things

The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

“Hell, Lou, it took fifteen years to get you out of a game; sometimes I’m out in fifteen minutes.”

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I had an advantage – I slept with his mother.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Children Family Football Mothers Sports

Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf… I think it was my ex-wife.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Saying that Howard Cosell quit commensating on boxing because it's sleazy is like saying Nixon quit politics because it's crooked.

sportswriter
Boxing Sports

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion; you must first set yourself on fire.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports Success

If you act like you know what you’re doing, you can do anything you want… except neurosurgery.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Exciting plays occur only while you are watching the scoreboard or out buying a hot dog.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

One of the worst things that can happen to you in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age.

American billiards champion & hustler
Activities Sports

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports