Subject: Sports (Page 29)

1. The more tangled your line is, the better the fishing is around you. 2. The time available to go fishing shrinks as the fishing season draws nearer. 3. The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Corollary: The more elaborate and costly the equipment, the greater chance of having to stop at the fish market on the way home.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

One day of practice is like one day of clean living; it doesn’t do you any good.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Characteristics Sports

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? … he went to prison for three years, not Princeton.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Boxing Intelligence Sports

I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Baseball Old Sports

Dave Wottle has completely misjudged this race… and here comes Wottle!

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.

British sports commentator
Sports

Emotion disappears about the sixth time that guy hits you in the mouth and you realize those tears in your eyes are not because of dear old alma mater.

American football coach
Football Sports

I tell him ‘Attaway to hit, George.’

American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

It was like skating inside a pop can.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Trade him for a six pack — it doesn't even have to be cold.

Philadelphia Eagles coach
Football Sports

Virginia has already spent more on plugging Shawn Moore for the Heisman Trophy than Thomas Jefferson spent getting elected president.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Activities Football Government Money Sports

I've been big ever since I was little.

American football player
Appearance Body Football Sports

I know my players don't like my practices, but that's OK, because I don't like their games.

Canadian hockey coach, general manager & commentator
Hockey Sports

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Never putt until the cup stops moving.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

He wants Texas back.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

I can play anywhere; First, Third, Left field… anywhere but Philadelphia.

(1942 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot; finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors Health Occupations Sports Work

Well, that was a cliff-dweller.

professional baseball manager
Baseball Malaprops Sports

Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Sports