Subject: Sports (Page 48)

If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Sports Television

If you keep your opposition on their ass, they don’t score goals.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

(After playing an exhibition game in Canada, Logan was surprised to learn that even the kids speak French.)

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

I've thrown or broken a few clubs in my day. In fact, I guess at one time or another I probably held distance records for every club in the bag.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Sure… I’m proud to be an American.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary.

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports

Dance with the one what brung ya.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

golf writer
Golf Sports

The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.

Boston Bruins general manager
Hockey Sports

It took three guys to bring down Baltimore Colts tight end John Mackey and the lucky ones fell off.

(1921 – 2005) American broadcaster
Football Sports

The hockey lockout of 1994-1995 has been settled. They have stopped bickering… and can now get down to some serious bloodshed!

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Hockey Sports

The three important elements of hockey are: forecheck, backcheck and paycheck.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Boxing is the only sport you can get your brain shook, your money took and your name in the undertaker book.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

You have only two hemispheres in your brain – a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Intelligence Mind Sports

We have deep depth.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday.

Alcohol Food/Drink Sports

The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat, squarely.


(1918 – 2002) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'

Canadian hockey player
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Self Sports

My main objective is to be professional, but to kill him.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Anytime you hold Dallas to a one touchdown, it's not all bad.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports