Subject: Sports (Page 66)

Historically, the host nations do well in Euro 2000.

English football player & analyst
Misspokements Sports

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports

I’ll have a cup of tea.

Kenyan runner
Sports

If you act like you know what you’re doing, you can do anything you want… except neurosurgery.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

How can you trust a man who can talk for five minutes and you can’t understand a sentence of it!

British and Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals.

(1938 – ) American actor
Boxing Sports TV/Movie Quotes

It’s a nice bonus but, you know, I have to pay taxes too.

professional tennis player
Misspokements Sports

I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

You do a lot of praying, but most of the time the answer is “no.”

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Religion Sports

The only way to avoid hitting a tree is to aim at it.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

He has the touch of a gay hairdresser.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.

professional hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

God's busy; they'll have to make do with me.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

It would be like the elephants standing up on two feet. It would be like the man being shot out of the cannon. It would be like a woman with a beard down to the floor. It would be the greatest show on earth.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green.

Golf Sports

Muhammad Ali was on a plane when a stewardess asked him to fasten his seat belt. Ali told the lady: Superman don't need no seat belt.
The stewardess told the champ: Superman don't need no plane!

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The only way that Miami will beat Florida St. is if they outscore them.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Misspokements Sports

Villeneuve is now twelve seconds ahead of Villeneuve.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Two people fighting is not violence in hockey. It might be in tennis or bowling, but it's not in hockey.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Fights Hockey Sports

Nigel Mansell is someone with about as much charisma as a damp spark-plug.

British sportswriter
Auto racing Insults Sports